Free time?
by Pinkkrice
Summary: LOL WHAT IS THIS. Man, I wrote this in like...8th grade. I'm scared to even look. No, I'm really scared. Prepare for Rampant OOC, spelling errors, and general fail.
1. Bored?

It was a quiet silent day in the world that never was. All of our beloved (-cough-) Organization XIII were sitting in there impossibly high chairs. All is silent. All is quiet. All is shiny and white, and not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse that never was. Somewhere in the kitchen that never was, in a hole that never was in the kitchen wall that never was was the mouse that never was NOT stirring.

Yes the days spent as a nobody were quiet pointless ones. They were days filled with thoughts of Kingdom Hearts. They are days of hanging out with friends that never were. They are days of staying the hell away from Larxene and her perpetual PMS. None of them could forget the time she almost killed Xbob. Xbob is also a strong nobody, who used to be a human named Bob. Due to 'unoriginality' and the 'Wimpy' power of control upon small twigs and various pine cones (along with the fact that Organization XIV didn't look or sound as cool) he was not aloud into the organization. For some reason, he never seemed to die, and hated Axel and threw things at his hair. The best part? It would stay there.

But today, Xbob was nowhere to be seen, and Larxene was likely to kill everyone at any given time. Today was a day in which there was no Sora to be found, no Kingdom Hearts to complete, no work to do. In short, they had the day off, and a good amount of free time. What would they do?! What exiting antics would they get into?! What exiting conversations would occur!? Well they can't tell us right now. They are to busy sitting in there impossibly high chairs doing...nothing. Well that makes since. They don't exist right? There _no_bodies, it's only fitting they do _no_thing right? Well even nobodies can get that oh so familiar feeling felt everyday by the anti-social children of America, and soon, the inevitable happens, and a courageous voice speaks out over the silence!

"I'm bored." All turn to see the member with the _nerve, _NAY, the _ordasety _to even VOICE such an opinion! Needless to say, it was...Axel. Well no surprise there. All are calm to see it was merely Axel, but still look at him perplexed.

"That is imposable." Said there leader all knowingly.

"No it's not." he defies.

"Yes it is! Nobodies can't be bored you idiot!" Said Larxene in a bitchy way.

Suddenly Roxas looked up from playing with his gloves. "They can't?" he said in a genuinely surprised way.

"No. Now everyone back to work." said the leader with finality.

"But...we weren't working."

"Then think about our mission."

"But that's BORING!" Said Axel defiantly again.

"NOBODIES CAN'T FEEL EMOTIONS!"

"Is boredom really an emotion?" asked Roxas.

"YES...r-right?" said Larxene.

"No it is not! It's a _feeling_, but not an _emotion_!"

"...I suppose that's technically true." admitted Xemnas.

"So I think we would KNOW if we're bored!"

"...Okay fine. LET IT BE KNOWN ALL THROUGH OUT THIS NON EXISTENT WORLD, THE ALL MIGHTY ORGANIZATION, RULERS OF ALL NOBODIES, ARE BORED!" He shouted at the sky mightily. Nobody could tell if he was being serious or sarcastic but Axel didn't care. He was _right _for a change! HURRAH!

Soon silence fell back upon the now officially bored Organization XIII. Again all was quiet. Roxas continued playing with his glove. Axle smirked satisfied at his right-ness. Other members of the Organization went about there business. Except for Demyx.

"Shouldn't we do something to be...you know, un-bored?"

"No."

"But I don't like being bored."

"You can't like anything...you're a nobody."

"I like water."

"This conversation is over."

"BUT I'M BORED!"

"WE'RE ALL BORED!" Said the rest of the Organization at once.

"THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"

Silence.

"That...doesn't sound like a bad idea..." said Vexen because his name is easy to spell.

"No, It's a VERY bad idea. Very…bad…Idea." Said someone who's name wasn't easy to spell. Just use your imagination.

"If I allow you to do something entertaining will you all SHUT UP?!"

"Yes." Said all at once.

"Fine then. LET IT BE KNOWN ALL THROUGH OUT THIS NO EXISTENT WORLD, THE MIGHTY ORGANIZATION, RULERS OF ALL NOBODIES, ARE GOING TO GO HAVE FUN!" Said the leader with his arms raised in an all-mighty voice.

Silence once again.

"…What now?" Asked Roxas.

"…Um…I…don't know." Admitted Axel.

"We could…watch TV." offered Demyx sheepishly, then smiling as everyone nodded in agreement with various 'Good idea!'s and 'that sounds good's.

"Um…do we have a TV.?"

Silence.

"I have no idea." admitted the leader.

"What about in The TV. Room of Despair?"

"…Did you make that up?"

"No, it's next to The Alter of Naught."

"…Okay then. LET IT BE KNOWN ALL THROUGH OUT THIS NO EXISTENT WORLD, THE MIGHTY ORGANIZATION, RULERS OF ALL NOBODIES, ARE GOING TO GO SEE WHAT'S ON TV.!"

"…"

.:TV. Room of Despair:.

TELEVISION! The source of power to all Americans! It is where we spend free time, Spend family time, where we spend time avoiding our family, where we spend time in which we are procrastinating, where we spend time when we're really supposed to be doing something much more important, and most importantly, where we consume 82 percent of out food as well as snacks, in between snack snacks, and various candy as well as a few pieces of gum. Yes, the country revolves around it's news shows, cartoons, reality shows, celeb news, and other shows where people spend time and money doing things they could have otherwise spent looking for a cure to cancer, AIDS, and of course, solving global warming. It is also where we watch discovery documentaries on the effects of Cancer, Aids, and global warming. And of course, without TV., what would we hook up out PS2's to so that we may play Kingdom Hearts games?! Yes the TV. is most important, but unfortunately for our poor Organization members, they have never seen a TV. in there non-existent lives.

"…How do we turn it on?"

"…I…don't know. Xemnas?"

"…Um…try…kicking it?"

The TV. was kicked.

"It didn't work." Said Saix.

"Maybe you have to…attack it to make it work! Just like everything else in the game."  
All pulled out there special weapons of doom and prepared to attack.

"WAIT! NO! IT'S GOING TO BREAK THEN WE CAN'T USE IT!" Said Roxas jumping up and down flailing his arms around as everyone stopped and looked at him because he looked like an idiot.

"Well then what do we do?"

"Use recreation commands."

"…Oh, duh."

Recreation commands were used.

"ALRIGHT! So what's on?"

A channel guide (that never was) was checked.

"Um…what's…Jeopardy?"

"Lives in Jeopardy?"

"Sounds good."

Jeopardy was watched.

"…Why do they get it right by asking questions? And why don't they just kill this hosting man so that they may merely take the car!?" asked Axel very angry.

"Because they would be arrested."

"…So?"

"…"

"I'm still bored." said Saix plainly as all agreed with him because, honestly, Jeopardy sucks.

"Fine then. How will we change the channel?" Said Luxord because after 20 minutes he figured he should say something to make the readers aware of his presence.

"We must use the remote."

"How did you know that?"

"The same way I knew about recreation commands."

"Ohhhh."

"So where is this remote?" Asked the leader.

Silence while everyone thinks.

"Well, It should be around here somewhere."

"Okay then, we must find it."

The remote was searched for and found.

"…Why is there peanut butter on the remote?"

"Whatever, just change the channel."

"But seriously! Peanut butter?! Where did we even _get _peanut butter?! AND WHY IS IT ON THE REMOTE!?

"CHANGE THE CHANNEL!"

"Okay! Okay! God, relax."

The channel was changed.

"DO YOU SEE THE BIG YELLOW TREE?!" Said a young girl on the TV.

"…Yes." Said Demyx plainly.

"DO YOU SEE IT?!"

"Yes." He said again going closer to the TV.

"WHERE IS IT."

"It's over there!" he said like a little kid pointing in a random direction.

"YOU FOUND IT!"

"I did?!" he said his eyes lighting up while sitting down in front of the TV.

"WE DID IT!"

"WE DID IT! HEY EVERYBODY! WE DID IT!" He said smiling and pointing at the TV., his huge grin fading when he realized everyone was staring at him strangely. He chose to ignore this and watch TV.

"…What's wrong with him?" Whispered Roxas.

"He's been possessed maybe?"

"WE DID IT!"

"…Maybe we should just do something else." Whispered Xigbar somewhat freaked out.

"Just walk…away….slowly…" said someon as evryopne did just that.

Walked away slowly.

(A/N: I felt inspired to write this when I was replaying KH this spring break. I was wondering, what they would do when there was nothing TO do? So, thus this silly little fiction. Tell me what you think or if you think I should continue. THANKS!)


	2. Art?

"Are you all un-bored yet?" asked there leader in a somewhat aggravated tone, if nobodies can be aggravated.

"THEY TOOK DEMY! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! THERE GOING TO PICK US ALL OFF ONE BY ONE!" shouted Roxas hiding behind Axel.

"Don't worry Roxas, he's fine, RIGHT DEMYX?!"

"WE DID IT!"

"See, he'll be just fine."

"That's what they want you to think." He said in a whisper.

"Roxas, shut up."

"…Sorry…" He said in a calm tone going back to normal.

"So what now?" Asked someone. Use your imagination.

"Well, maybe we should do something more worth while." offered Saix.

"Yes…like art." Said Marluxia.

"But, how do we do art?"

Silence.

"Well, drawing is art right?" asked Larxene.

"Yeah." Answered Axel.

"Well then we'll just draw."

"Great, one problem though. How the hell do we do that?"

"Well, maybe we could get someone to show us."

"Who do we know that can draw AND would be willing to teach us?"

All take a moment to think, before…

.:Guest room of nonexistence :.

"Okay, let me get this straight…You we're bored, and tried to watch TV, but the TV took Demyx and so now you want me to give you all art lessons?" Asked the frail blond nobody known as Namine.

"Yes." they all said at once.

"…Okay I guess I can do that…"

"Good…LET IT BE KNOWN ALL THROUGH OUT THIS NON EXISTENT WORLD THAT ORGANIZATION XIII, RULERS OF ALL NOBODIES, ARE GOING TO TAKE ART LESSONS!"

"…Um…okay…"

.:Later:.

"Okay, now everyone, pay attention." She said sheepishly.

10 members of the powerful Organization sat in front of little Namine in 2 neat rows of 5. Each sat at a desk equipped with pencils, a note pad, some crayons, some paint brushes and some paint. In the front of the room stood her helpers, Axel and Roxas. Not that they were very helpful, but they were better than nothing, and they ran out of desks.

"Um, okay…everyone…welcome to….art class?" she said nervously looking around and feeling vaguely like an idiot. "My name is…well you know my name. That being said, is everyone okay with the currant seating arrangements?"

There were various nods

"…Er…right then. Well, this is art class so, pull out a piece of paper and a pencil. Draw a picture of a….a cat. Yea, that sounds good. Draw your best cat so that I may examine your skill."

Larxene raised her hand.

"Yea, Larxene?"

"What the hell is a cat and how do we draw one."

"…Your kidding, right?…well, okay." she began searching through her note book before coming to a page that made her eyes light up with pride. She held up the picture to show the "class". It was a picture of a cat so bright and vibrant it may have jumped right off the page! So lifelike, it was obviously a work of art that took much time and care to create! "This is a cat! Can you all draw one for me?"

The whole room set to work on there cats.

.:10 minutes later:.

"Um…everyone?" Asked Namine as the whole room shot there heads up and looked at her.

"Well…You have all been working very hard…I'm just going to come around and see your work. Just keep going, You won't even know I'm there." She walked over, nervously, to Larxene's desk and peaked at the picture. Her nervous eyes turned confused.

"…Larxene…why is your cat…flat?"

"Because it was hit by a car." She said aggravated.

"But shouldn't you-"

"I SAID…it was HIT by a CAR…" she said aggravated.

"Well I just-"

"FINE! I'll start OVER!" She said with little buzzes of electricity surging between her antenna-like hairs.

"…Okay…" she said slightly freaked out walking to Xemnas.

"…That is not a cat." she stated matter-of-factly.

" It is a cat. It is the best cat in all the land."

"But, it's only a line. Nothing but a line on this page. And you ripped through the page." She pointed out sadly.

He stood up slowly. "Are you saying my cat is not good enough, Namine?" he asked as he summoned 6 dusks. Namine looked like she was about ready to shit herself. "NO! NONONONONON! IT'S FINE! IT'S THE BEST DAMN CAT I'VE SEEN IN MY LIFE! HA HA HA! I LOVE IT IT'S THE BEST CAT EVER." She said laughing nervously backing away. The leader looked satisfied as the dusks disappeared and he went back to his work. "Then I shall draw another." he said sitting down.

She gave a nervous nod and went to walk away slowly trembling. He then abruptly stood again and Namine ducked down covering her head.

"LET IT BE KNOWN ALL THROUGHOUT THIS NON EXISTENT WORLD THAT I, XEMNAS, RULER OF ORGANIZATION XIII, WILL NOW DRAW A KITTY!" He shouted to the sky mightily with his arms raised. Namine crawled away to the front and hid behind Roxas.

"Hey, you okay Nami?"

"F-fine." she said getting to her feet shakily, but calmed down considerably immediatly after "How's you picture Roxas?"

"Great!" he said holding up a picture of a cat. It wasn't bad, it wasn't good but it wasn't bad. "It's not as good as yours though." he said somewhat shyly.

"Thank you, Roxas." she said looking lovingly at him.

"HOW'S MINE!" Asked Axel shoving his picture in her face and killing the moment.

"…"

"It's good, huh?"

"…It's…"

"It's on fir-"

"I know." she said somewhat aggravated into the burnt piece of paper.

"It's good huh?"

"Sure, whatever." She deadpanned walking away.

"Oh…my god. It's beautiful."

Indeed it was. It was a picture of the daintiest kitten laying on a bed of roses on a sunny yet hazy spring morning, complete with expert details and the loveliest colors. It was a beautiful picture made only with colored pencils! AMAZING! Who drew this masterpiece of joy and splendor you ask? Well it was…(spits out water) WHOA!

"It's a lovely kitten, Xigbar."

Um…

"I think the pink highlites around the ears were a nice touch."

"THIS IS SO STUPID!" Larxene screamed pounding her hand on the desk causing it and her pencil (That never was.) to break.

Namine blinked a few times. "Um…"

"I HATE YOU ALL!" She shouted throwing the desk across the room and sending it flying through the window(that never was).

And just so you know, it hit a cat.

It hit a cat that never was.

"EEP!" Screamed Namine scrambling under a spare chair and settling in a teeth chattering fetal position.

"I'M LEAVING!" And so she left, along with most of the rest of the organization, excluding Axel, Roxas, and Xigbar who was still working on his cat.

"NAMI!" He shouted in a worried voice going to Namine.

"R-r-r-r-r-Roxas-s? I-I-I-I-is that y-y-y-you?"

"Yeah, It's me."

"Is she gone?" she squeaked in a terrified whisper.

"Yeah, it's safe." he said comfortingly. The little blond peaked her head over the chair nervously. Upon discovering that there was no raging Larxene in site for the moment she stood up and blinked a few times. Dusting off her dress, she looked at Roxas.

"Thanks."

"Are you okay?" He asked sitting on a desk.

"I guess…" she said sitting next to him.

"Roxas?" She said sweetly.

"Yes Namine?" He smiled.

"Do you…smell smoke"

"…What?"

"I smell smoke."

He blinked a few times. Then he realized his foot was hot. Very hot. Like fire.

Fire.

Hmm…I wonder who could have-

"AXEL!"

"YOUR FOOTS ON FIRE!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" He yelled at Axel who was, at this point, laughing so hard he was literally, rotflmao. Namine ran over to the fire extinguisher (that never was) and ran back to spray poor Roxes' foot. She closed her eyes and clenched the handle of the extinguisher. Within a minute Roxas was covered in white foam, seething at the wall with his foot still smoking. Axel, who had stopped to watch him be sprayed with foam, then resumed his uncontrollable laughter.

Fun times.

"Why did you do that?!"

"Because you two were to stupid to notice that everyone left."

"SO YOU LIT MY FOOT ON FIRE?!"

"What else did you expect me to do?"

"…Tell us?"

"But then I couldn't light your foot on fire…well I could have but I wouldn't have had good reason to."

"…That made no sense whatsoever."

"Yeah well hurry up we need to go."

"Why?"

"Because I was RIGHT."

"I don't wanna!"

"BUT ROXAAAAAAAAAS!! I WAS RIGHT! HOW MEANY MORE TIMES DO YOU THINK THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?!"

"It may happen one more time before you get killed in the next game."

"…Oh well I feel safe. Hurry up! Don't you wanna have fun!?"

"I was having fun!"

"Just come on!"

"NO!"

"Move your ass or else."

"Of else what?"

"Or else…" He took the fire extinguisher out of Namine's hands "I won't give this back."

Roxas gave him a confused look. "So?" And then, as if right on cue, the entire room burst into flames as Axel walked out. Namine and Roxas then fled the burning room screaming.

"I like drawing." Said Xigbar continuing his cat as a piece of burning room narrowly missed his head.


	3. Xbob?

-1Picking up from where we left off…

"LARXENE! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"

She turned around and glared homicidally at the owner of the voice "I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING FUN!" She screamed.

"Like what?" Asked Marluxia.

"…I DON'T KNOW!!!!"

"Well do you even know where you're going?!"

"…" She though for a good minute, contemplating her actions. "I'm getting a cat."

"…Is that a joke?"

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M JOKING!?"

"No." He said baking away.

"HEY!" Shouted Axel followed closely by Namine and Roxas catching up to the group.

"Hey where's Xigbar?" Asked Zexion.

.:Before:.

Namine followed by Roxas ran out of the room closing the door behind them.

"WAIT! WHAT ABOUT XIG-"

"NO!" He screamed blocking the door dramatically. "We will NEVER speak of this again."

"…But he-"

"NEVER!"

.:Back:.

"He's…drawing." He said looking back and forth.

"In a better place." Added Namine looking distracted.

"So what now?"

"Larxene wants to get a cat."

"Why."

"SO I CAN HURT IT!"

"But…YOU CAN'T DO THAT! Haven't you ever herd of the ASPCA?!" Shouted Namine.

"Or animal cops Miami?" Asked Roxas.

"Or the planets funniest animals?" Said Zexion earning himself a few confused looks from the rest of the Organization. "…What?"

"Wait, didn't none of us know about T.V. until chapter 1? And then all we watched was Dora?"

"Well I had herd of it. If you notice I didn't say anything in that chapter."

"Nether did I." Added Xaldin who, if you haven't noticed, hasn't said anything yet. "But even so, knowing that would require you to watch Animal Planet."

"Wait, in chapter 1 we watched more than Dora. What was it? Lives in danger?"

"It was Jeopardy."

"Yeah Jeopardy, weren't we-"

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" Screeched Larxene. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM RIGHT NOW!? RIGHT NOW I AM **ANGRY**."

"And you won't like her when she's angry." Said Axel mockingly, waving his finger in her direction. She gave him a pissed/confused look before a light bulb mysteriously popped over his head. He promptly shut up.

"YOU WILL **DIE **WHEN I'M ANGRY!"

"Larxene! Where would we even _find _a cat?"

"WHERE ELSE!?"

.:Outside:.

And so the Organization did go out. They walked out to the lonely streets of the world that never was. But just there luck, It was raining rain drops, that never were. Larxene stomped angrily in search of a cat as everyone else trudged on behind her doing everything in there power not to piss her off. Water conducts electricity. Enough said.

But on they walked, each one with there hoods shielding them from rain, except for Namine who had a cute little umbrella that she shared with Roxas. Axel, in return, tried several unsuccessful times to light his foot on fire…again. But the rain, oh the horrid rain. Finally after a long walk, they came to an ally that had a roof (or something, like big pieces of wood, I don't know…) and stopped there to search for a cat Larxene might cause pain to. Although they were glad to get out of the rain for awhile, they were all still very wet.

"So, how to find a cat…"Said Larxene getting lost in thought.

"We could give it fish." Offered Roxas.

"Oh okay, I'll just pull out the fish I keep IN MY POCKET!" Shouted Axel. Axel definitely doesn't like being wet.

"If none of you had herd of a cat before, how did-" Began Namine.

"Shhhhh…don't worry. It doesn't matter. I'm going over there now." Said Roxas slowly walking away in the same manner going to look for a cat.

"…Um…okay?"

"I don't like being wet." Said Axel looking particularly pissed.

"April showers bring may flowers." Said Marluxia with a slight smile, a statement to which Namine and Axel responded with matching 'Wtf?' looks, mostly because it was October.

"…Right…Axel?"

"Yes Namine, since I talked to you 2 seconds ago, I have solved all our problems."

"…Has anyone seen a cat yet?"

"IF ANYONE HAD SEEN A CAT YET WOULD WE BE OUT HERE!?" Screeched Larxene in a blind rage…or whatever it is nobodies have that is close to rage. She then went back to her search.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Laughed a voice from nowhere. Everyone looked around confused and somewhat freaked out.

"OW!" Yelled Axel as something hit him in the back of the head. It fell back to the floor with a clunk. He reached down and picked up the small object and looked it over a few times before saying in a confused/pissed voice: "…Is this…Did someone just hit me in the head with glue stick? WHO THE _HELL _THROWS A GLUE STICK?!"

Who the hell indeed…

C…Could it…BE?!

"MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Laughed a strange sounding boys voice. Then popped out a boy of…13? He was on top of a particularly high stack of boxes. He wore a trench coat and snow boots with fuzzy mittens all colored with what looked like black sharpie and some kind of backwards baseball hat. He then reveled his 'Weapon'…a sling shot and a pocket of endless pinecones and twigs and apparently glue sticks. He had what could only be assumed to be longish messy brown hair under his retarded hat. This, ladies and gentlemen, was none other than the unimaginative, unbelievable, utterly retarded Xbob.

"…What…the fuck?" Asked Namine being very out of character.

"Hahahahahahah!!!" He laughed annoyingly.

"…"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA…" He paused before going into a coughing fit and then continuing his laughter until he stopped abruptly upon being hit in the head with the very glue stick that had hit Axel before. Only now it was on fire. At first they all just stared at him from there places where they were looking for cats , but then his stupid hat quickly caught fire and, about a 20 seconds later in a delayed reaction, he fell off the boxes and began rolling around on the floor screaming: "STOP, DROP, AND ROLL! STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!"

The Organization just stared blankly and somewhat annoyed at him, with the exception of Larxene who was utterly ignoring him. She rummaged through some boxes and peaked at various holes in the walls(that never were). Eventually the boy got up and pulled off his now burnt hat and seemed to become very angry.

"DUDE THAT WAS, LIKE, MY FAVORITE HAT!" He said waving around the remains of his stupid looking hat.

"Who are you?" Asked Namine.

He stood up slowly and dusted off his black sharpie covered coat and made what Xbob believed was an menacing look. "I AM XBOB! THE MOST AMAZINGEST NOBODY EVER!"

"…Not only is that not a real word, but WE are the best nobodies, not you!" Axel yelled pointing at him with a finger of anger…If that makes any sense.

"Naw-ahh."

"..Yes, because if YOU were the best you would have been the games main protagonists or a boss fight, and possibly had your own character theme."

"…YOUR MOM!"

"Is this a joke?" Asked the Superior.

"And I believe the correct term is 'Yo mama'" Said Xaldin in a serious tone.

"SHUT UP!" Shouted Xbob.

There was a short pause.

"_You_ shut up." Zexion said narrowing his eyes at the 13-year-old.

"No, _YOU _shut up!"

"_**YOU **_shut up!"

"NO, _**YOU!**_"

"_**YOU!!!!"**_

"NO, _**YOUYOUYOUYOUUUUU SHUT UP!!!**_"

"What are you all doing?" Asked Larxene in a fake nice tone. She clenched her teeth and continued in the same tone "Your supposed to be helping me look!"

"THERE IS NO TIME TO LOOK! FOR YOUR END HAS COME!"

"…Who are you?" She said cautiously, seeming to have forgotten her earlier rage.

"I AM XBOB! THE MOST AMAZINGEST NOBODY OF ALL-"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!" Shouted everyone sans Xbob and Larxene.

"…Well I'm lost."

_Meow!_

"…What the…?"

Larxene twitched before smiling a big evil grin. "IT'S A CAT!"

_Meow!_

"WHERE IS IT?!" Screamed Larxene.

"Well, it-"

"LOOK FOR IT!"

The rest of the Organization quickly ran in different directions and started screaming 'KITTY KITTY KITTY!' While looking under various boxes and trash cans.

"…HEY! I'M TRYING TO INSTILL FEAR INTO YOUR HEARTS OVER HERE."

"We don't have hearts." Said Axel without even stopping his search in an old T.V. box.

"WHATEVER! Now FEAR ME!!!!"

"Um, did you not get the whole no hearts thing?" Asked Zexion rummaging through a trash can. He pulled his hands out and scrunched up his face at the smell "Ewwww…"

"Your afraid of Larxene!"

They all looked at Larxene who went back to ignoring Xbob and shaking a box around.

"Larxene defies logic." Said Roxas as if it were the simplest and most obvious thing in the world, which it was.  
"She's frikin' scary!"

Larxene responded by throwing an old banana at Axel's head. "KEEP LOOKING!"

"…Oh great, and now it's stuck…"

Xbob raised an eye brow. "Is it her time of the month?"

"It's ALWAYS her time of the month…"

"I SAID KEEP LOOKING! IF YOU DON'T GET OFF YOUR ASS AND LOOK FOR THIS DAMN CAT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL-" she stopped abruptly as something hit her head. Although it didn't quite hit her, it sort of 'plopped' and it felt light and fragile. It curled up into a little ball and made a faint sort of happy buzzing sound. Everyone in the room tensed up and Larxene just remained in that spot, dumbfounded. Slowly she reached up and touched the thing. It was soft and warm and nuzzled her finger. She lifted it up off her head. The face of a sweet and purring kitten. Larxene's face curled into an evil grin.

"Why helloooooo little kitty." She said in a mockingly nice tone. "You're going to DIE!" She then started laughing like a crazy person. Then, with every ounce of her energy, she lifted the kitten up and threw it on the floor. Everyone cringed and looked away. Larxene laughed evilly and victoriously at the kittens misfortune.

_Meow!_

"HAHAHAHA…huh?" She looked down. At her feet stood a happy, healthy, purring kitten looking up at her with curious eyes. "…WHAT?!" She growled and seethed, but quickly smirked and stomped on the kitten. Larxene expected to feel it's little body go 'squish' under her boots. But no such thing happened. She looked down to see the kitten was gone. But from behind her, she herd a sound.

_Meow!_

She twitched and slowly turned her head to see the kitten, unharmed, and still looking up at her. The kitten moved to nuzzle her ankle. She narrowed her eyed and gritted her teeth in in further aggravation. The kitten purred louder. She then took out one of her little knifes and threw it directly at the kittens head. It missed. Her jaw dropped. She _never_ missed. She growled again and threw more knifes at the kitten. Every last one missed. She finally lifted the kitten my the tail and stared directly at it. She took her remaining knife and stabbed the kitty. Only she missed. She tried again, and missed. Finally she put the knife half an inch from the kittens face and prepared one final attack. An attack nobody in the world could miss. So close, so easy! Larxene, missed.

"WHY WON'T YOU DIE!?"

_Meow!_

"AHHHHHHGRRRRRAH!!!!" She flung the kitten onto a near by wall. The cat landed feet first on the wall, then onto an old mattress, and then ran back to nuzzle Larxenes ankle some more.

_Meow!_

"AHHHHHHHH! WHY WON'T YOU DIE! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!" Larxene continued on like that for awhile screaming and attacking the kitten, each time the kitten was unharmed and continued to wuv Larxene.

"…Let's get the hell out of here." Xbob said nervously. Everyone nodded and slowly walked away, first slowly, then, they ran like hell.

(A/N: Sorry this took so long guys, but it just wasn't coming out good. I still don't like it but I felt I should update seeing as how it's been so long. This is my last update till after finals (science on Monday and I'm freaking out!) so wish me luck. Also I finally started 'Nobody's Princess' and nobody is reading it. So please take a look at it? I promise it'll get better as it progresses. Well, whatever. Please enjoy and review please.)


	4. Lunch?

A/N: Sorry it's so late, but whatever, it's up now. Also I FINALLY figured out how to get the accent on Naminé's name, so I'll be fixing that soon in other chapters as well. Oh, and also, 85 on that nasty final :D. ugh, i hate earth science. But it's over now so yay. Thanks evryone for the revews and wishing me luck! Enjoy the chapter.)

"Well, what now?" Asked Naminé.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm still bored." said Zexion irritated.

"You won't be bored…when you are brought down by XBOB! THE MOST-"

"SHUT UP! I mean seriously do you ever stop talking?!"

"…Fine, be that way…"

"Roxas! I'm hungry." Shouted Axel

"…And what would you like _me_ to do about it."

"Feed me."

"What am I, your mom?!"

"Yes."

"WHAT THE HELLS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

"I'm hungry too." Said Naminé sheepishly.

"Do you want me to get you something?"

"WHAT ABOUT ME?!"

"…Anyway, I'm hungry as well." Said Xaldin.

"Superior, everyone's hungry…Superior?"

"Hey, where'd he go?"

.:Else where:.

Somewhere far away from the 9 remaining Organization XIII members (and Xbob and Naminé) was there leader standing on a platform, the highest point in the castle. He stood and stared, fixated, on the heart shaped moon above him. His face turned into a slight smile, and then a grin.

"_This_…is fun."

.:Back:.

"He's lost it."

"I second that! Well I guess we're on our own." Shouted Axel annoyingly.

"We should cook something." Said Zexion.

They all looked at him. "You mean _you _should cook something." they said in unison.

"… Why is it everyone thinks I'm such a great cook?!"

"Because the rest of us are incompetent?" The repeated in unison again.

"That's getting creepy…" Xbob stated.

"What about Vexen?! He's a scientist! Food is kind of like science, right?!"

Vexen looked up from mixing two chemicals together in a water bottle.

"And what about Marluxia!? He grows all kinds of fruits and vegetables and spices and crap!"

Marluxia looked up from petting a flower.

"Axel you could cook just about anything!"

Axel looked up from lighting an oblivious Roxas' foot on fire. "Or burn it!"

"And Roxas, Axel is lighting your foot on fire."

Roxas kicked Axel.

"So why can't you do it!?"

They all looked at each other.

.:Kitchen:.

"This is _so_ not what I meant."

Axel, Vexen, Marluxia, and Zexion all stood in the kitchen of empty cabinets (that never were), preparing to make some lunch. The room wasn't very large, but it was long. About one fourth of the room was a wooden table with five chairs. Roxas, Luxord, Xaldin, Lexaeus, and Saïx each sat in one of the chairs. The rest was walls lined with stoves and cutting boards, cabinets, and a fridge, microwave…everything needed and a plain island counter in the center.

"Well, like you said! We can all cook stuff because of our special talents, so, that's what we'll do!" Said Marluxia in a pink apron.

"And with all those books you read, there has to be one cook book." Said Vexen in an apron that said 'Kiss the cook.'

Um, ew.

"I really don't know why I'm here, I'll just burn everything. I already burned my apron." Said Axel in an, indeed, burnt apron.

"Yeah, I still don't get how you managed that…" Said Zexion in his respective plain white professional looking chef's apron. "But, none the less, I do have a cook book." He said as a rather large book fell from thin air and plopped into his hand. Although he mistook the exact weight and went down with the book. Pulling himself and the book up, he slammed the heavy mess down with a loud bang on the counter. "But I still don't get why _you_ two want to help."

"Well, cooking is an art form." Said Naminé in a simple white apron

"I AM THE GREATEST AT EVERYTHING!" Shouted Xbob not in an apron at all.

"…Right well lets make this…thing…oh my god…"

"What?" Asked Axel.

"It's…well if Rachel Ray says so…"

"What?!" He repeated.

"Okay, Vexen, take these ingredients and make whatever the hell this is." He ordered handing him a list of ingredients and instructions. "Axel, crush this bag of potato chips."

"…What?"

"Just do it. Okay now, Naminé and Xbob, cut up this ham."

"YES SIR!"

"And Marluxia! Get white bread, grated cheese, and cut up some bananas."

They all stared at him extremely confused and slightly scared by the last few instructions.

"…Just do it! Hurry up!"

They each went to their respective corners and began work. Naminé and Xbob went into the fridge and pulled out a package of square shaped, condensed and processed ham.

"…Um, do I even _want_ to know why you have this in your fridge?"

"Xbob, _I _don't even want to know." She carried the meat to a cutting board and plopped it down. She stared at it. It stared back…somehow."…So, now what?"

"Um, we cut it?" Said Xbob with a 'Duh' tone.

The blond girl scratched her head. "How is that like art?"

"It's not, it's like hacking at the flesh and meat of a dead animal."

Naminé suddenly looked extremely uneasy. "I think I'm going to be sick…"

"NOT ON THE MEAT!" He said pushing her away. She tumbled over to Roxas and fell on her back at his feet. He looked down.

"You okay?!"

She sat up, frowned and deadpanned, "Never better. I think I'm going to be sick."

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!" They all stopped and stared at Xbob who was laughing menially. Then, for reasons nobody really understood, he jumped up on the counter and started laughing crazily. He ripped off his shirt and coat and started randomly hacking at the meat into little bits and pieces with a meat cleaver, laughing like a psychopath the whole time. Finally, he put his arms up and screamed, "THIS HAM JUST GOT POWND!" He threw the meat cleaver at the wall and I narrowly missed hacking off Axel's nose. There was a very long, awkward pause while Everyone stared horrified at Xbob, who was breathing heavily with an angry look still up-top the counter.

"You are one _sick _son of a bitch." Roxas said narrowing his eyes at the crazed thirteen year old.

He blinked. "Why?"

"…Sit down." Said Roxas sternly. Xbob mumbled angrily under his breath but obeyed and sat on the floor under the table cross legged staring at the wall. There were a few worried/confused/freaked out looks but they were ignored.

Over by Vexen's side of the kitchen, he poured some eggs in a bowl. Then he poured a select few other liquids in it. Now mind you, being a scientist made for a good cook. A cook is someone who experiments with different foods to create delicious treats and yummy meals. And of course, both know when to follow the recipe. Now, the main difference between a chef and a scientist (especially one who works with dangerous chemicals) is most of what a scientists makes may not be edible. But that's not the problem, oh no no no. The problem is, the difference between Vexen and a scientist is, Vexen doesn't know when to follow the recipe, and ALL of what he makes isn't edible.

The elder man took a second look at the recipe which, so far, he had followed perfectly. Then after a few minutes of looking at the mixture, then the recipe, then the mixture, then the recipe, and so on and so forth, he pulled from out of his black cloak a small vile of liquid and threw it in the mixture (he threw the vile in too, which was made of glass) and continued stirring as inconspicuously as possible.

.:Path Mark:.

"Grated cheese…grated cheese…Why on earth would they need bananas?" The brown(pink) haired man said scanning the shelf for the item. Unfortunately, he had never actually gone shopping before, and usually just sent his underling Dusks to do the task. Due to the 'Darkness Dreams Recruitment' agency's union, all Nobodies, Heartless, and for some reason evil flying monkeys, get every other Monday off. The 'Darkness Dreams Recruitment', or DDR, was the sole reason Marluxia had to perform this task, and was also the reason he was looking for cheese in the bread isle. After getting distracted by some 'little Debby' cakes for a few minutes, until he read the ingredients and concluded to get the hell away from the horrible place as fast as possible, he realized he needed bread. So he went off to the cheese isle in search of bread.

After arriving at the isle, he noticed a mother and small child walk down the isle. He ignored them, but the child stared. After a few moments he caught on and glared at the child.

"What are you staring at?!"

"Hey mister, why do you look so funny?"

"TOMMY! Don't say that! Sorry ma'am" And with that she pulled the child off in another direction. The Brown(pink) haired nobody shrugged and went about his business. Suddenly he snapped his head up.

"Wait, did she just call me 'Ma'am?!'"

.:Kitchen That Never Was:.

Back with our ever growing group of not-chefs, Axel sat down with the group.

"Hey, I thought you were killing a bag of potato chips." Commented the ever observant Xbob.

"I am."

There was a pause.

"Did you finish?" Asked Naminé.

"Nope."

Pause.

"When are you going to do it?" Asked Saix.

"Right now."

Long pause.

"Well?" Said Xbob.

He pointed to the bag of potato chips under his foot.

"…I don't care what it is, I'm not eating it."

"What, they are still in the bag."

"They've been under your foot!"

"Which has a very clean boot over it."

"I don't care, they have now been on the floor. That's bad. That's unsanitary."

"You're one to talk! Your in nothing but a pair of jeans, mittens, and snow boots! What the hell happened to your shirt?!"

"…Oh, yeah." He picked up his shirt and long coat and went off. "Wait…where's the bathroom?"

"Down the hall."

"Right." And off he went.

"Well the chips are crushed. I'll go see how Marluxia's doing."

.:Path Mark:.

"…That is a very large banana…"

"_Excuse_ me?" Snapped a man standing behind Marluxia picking out some broccoli. The Brown(pink) haired nobody picked up a banana.

"The bananas. They're very big."

"Oh." He responded walking off, abandoning his broccoli.

"Um…okay?" He then continued rummaging through for the best banana he could find. Until, that is he felt a tap on his shoulder. "What?!"

"Boo."

"Ah ha, very funny Axel, you can quote the game."

Axel frowned. "What's taking you so long?"

"Well I was looking for a banana when I got distracted by these melons, and-"

"Okay, I'm going to stop you right there. Please tell me you're talking about fruit."

"Yes, what else would I be talking about?"

"…Nothing…"

"Excuse me Mr. Pink Hair?"

They both looked down. "Who's the kid?"

"You again?! What is it?!"

"Why is your hair pink?"

"It's not pink! It's brown."

"It is _so _pink." Said Axel.

"No, it's brown-ish light red."

"Which is pink."

"OKAY FINE! IT'S PINK-_ISH _BROWN! OKAY?!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" He said putting his hands up defensively.

"GOOD!"

"Are you done fighting?" Asked the little boy.

"Yes. Now leave."

"Are you anorexic Mr. Red Hair?"

"Yes. And he's on steroids, and Roxas get's weird around sugar. Zexion can indeed cook, Xemnas is obsessive compulsive, and despite popular belief every last one of us is straight. Except of course for Mr. Pink Hair."

"IT'S _PINK-ISH BROWN!_ And I'm not gay!"

"Don't be afraid to be your true self, Mr. Pink Hair." Said the little boy. Axel Snickered.

"Yeah, _Mr. Pink Hair. _You should Show your true colors." He then couldn't contain himself and broke down into hysterical laughter.

"SHUT UP! Look we need to get the stuff and get out of here. I think we should also grab some melons though…"

"_Excuse_ me?!" Shouted a lady from a few feet away.

"FRUIT! THE FRUIT! I'M TALKING ABOUT THE FRUIT! GOD! WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE."

"Well Mr. Pink Hair…" Began the little boy. "You fit the description of the basic psycho path. Because of this, you also fit the description of a sex offender and, because of your odd hair, a homosexual. Leading the good people of this Path Mark to believe you are saying things that are inappropriate."

"…"

"Well, it looks like the writers going for the cheap jokes because she's running out of ideas."

"Looks like it."

.:Kitchen That Never Was:.

"We're back!"

"Yay." Deadpanned a majority of the kitchen.

"We brought the bananas, and cheese, and the, um…whatever just cook it." Marluxia said tossing the bag.

Zexion caught the bag "Is there a melon in here?"

"IT'S FRUIT, OKAY?!" He shouted storming off.

"…Okay, what's his problem?"

Axel shrugged.

.:Later:.

"Okay! Lunch is served!"

Before each or the Organization members was the strangest looking thing they had ever seen. Staring with bits of white bread, covered by sliced ham, sprinkled in sliced banana, over which was a layer of grated cheese, then some bacon bits, and finally, crushed potato ships. The bread was all soaked, so one could only assume the batter like concoction made by Vexen was what it was soaked in. For awhile it was merely stared at.

"What the hell?"

"Axel it's not that bad."

"Yes it is, it's…"

"…"

"…Fine then! You eat it!"

"…Saix doesn't this look great?"

Saix stared at it for a moment. Finally he put a fork in it and took a large chunk and bit down. There was a crunch, but not a potato chip crunch, or even a bacon crunch. It was the kind of crunch you hear when…

"I think I just chewed on glass."

"…Glass?"

"Yes." He said with a very calm and straight face. "And something wet came out of it. And it mixed with the blood."

"…I-I'm not hungry." Said Naminé pushing away her plate.

"Okay, now, what are the immediate side effect of the liquid that was in the glass?" asked Vexen.

"My tongue is numb." Saix continued calmly.

"And?"

"I can't see anything."

Vexen looked surprised. "Really? It was supposed to make you def, not blind."

"What?!"

"How interesting."

"VEXEN! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!"

"…Shut up Zexion, I'm busy."

"WHAT DID YOU PUT IN HIS FOOD!"

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

"What are you all saying I can't hear you." said Saix in a calm but unintentionally loud voice. The three began shouting at each and continued on like this for quite some time.

"…Maybe we should just leave." Axel whispered. And away they walked and, once out of sight, they ran.

(A/N: Wow slow update, no? Sorry about that but it's up now so, yay. Just to help you out, so far we've lost Demyx, Xigbar, Xemnas, Larxene, Saix, Marluxia, Zexion, and Vexen. Oh and Xbob went off to put his shirt back on and will pop back up next chapter. That leaves us with: Axel, Roxas, Naminé, Xbob, Xaldin, Lexaeus, and Luxord. We lost a lot of people this chapter and I thinm one of them should come back so, how about I let you guys vote on that. Anyway, review review! Till next time!)


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